How Your Trauma Effects Your Parenting with The Positive Mom Elayna Fernandez
How does trauma affect mothers and their children, and how can they heal from it? Join me for a conversation with best-selling author Elayna Fernandez of "The Positive Mom". Elayna Fernandez is a single mom of four. She is also known as the positive mom on social media. Her story is one of overcoming trauma and helping other moms find that truth in themselves and really figure out how to do that work on our inner child. "It's not selfish to just be still. To work on yourself every single day is the best thing that you can do for your children."
Elayna Fernandez is a mom of four and a single mom. She is also known as @thepositivemom on social media. She has been through a lot of trauma in her life, including being in a coma for 8 days after a car accident. Despite all of this, she has become a role model to help other moms break cycles, find peace and feel whole. In her work, she helps moms understand that they are not alone and that they can overcome their trauma.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. Elayna Fernandez's story of overcoming trauma and helping other moms do the same
2. The importance of processing emotions and setting boundaries
3. The impact of a mother's healing journey on her children
Show Highlights:
[00:03:08] - Elayna is a single mom of four daughters aged 19 18, 9 2, and she's passionate about helping other mothers break cycles and find peace. She has been through a lot of trauma and is passionate about letting people know that they're not alone.
[00:05:30] - As a child, Elayna was abused and neglected. She wanted to end her life when she was 5 years old. Now she's a single mom and she's trying to change the patterns in her life. She wants to create a community of moms to help other mothers.
[00:11:13] - There is an addiction to being needed. It starts in childhood with feeling invisible and feeling not wanted. At 19, she was in a coma for a couple of minutes after a car accident. It was the first time in 19 years of heavy trauma that she was able to process her feelings. She stopped being a top producer and a straight A student. It's not selfish to work on yourself every single day. Working on yourself is the best thing for your children. Our children are going to go through trauma whether we inflicted it or not. When we heal our trauma, we transform it, and we don't have to transmit it.
[00:19:59] - There are many times when a mom is at her limit with the whining, the nagging, whatever her five-year-old is throwing at her. She has moms in her community from 168 countries, and they all go through the same thing. The number one thing is to know that we're not alone and that we all feel it hard, too. It's our inner child that needs nurturing and needs to be talked to. Kasey's latest book is called Chatter. She wrote everything that is painful as poetry. In it, she uses visualization in her morning practice to feel her body. She writes in the third person to create a psychological distance between herself and her negative self.
[00:29:33] - Elaina wrote a book called Dancing with Death reflections of a Student of Pain. Her daughter challenged her to join a poetry challenge. She wrote one poem every day for 21 days. Elaina's daughter published her book and Elaina published hers. There are two parts of you:, physical and divine. The physical part of you reacts and gets hungry, while the divine part wants to be empathetic and loving and compassionate. There is a duality in both parts of a person, and it's the part of us that wants to punish us.
[00:36:13] - As a full-time mom entrepreneur she took on the role of a story strategist she helps other moms write their book create a powerful talk on the stage create courses, create income, impact and influence through their story the things that cost them.
[00:41:11] - There are many good stories about the positive changes that have been made in the lives of some of the moms that she works with. One of them is a mom of three who was overweight, unhealthy and had a strained relationship with her mother. She is now healthy and happy and has a thriving business. She also has a great relationship and a new life.
[00:46:57] - People compare their pain to others', and it makes Joyce angry. She believes that 90% of a person's reaction to pain is related to the present moment. Joyce doesn't like it when people refer to the world where she grew up as a third world. Joyce believes that problems are relevant to who you are.
[00:50:05] - She talks about the need to validate yourself. Elayna was kidnapped at 19 years old. She got out of the car and she was covered by a woman who didn't judge her. Kasey thanks Alaina for her courage and bravery.
[00:55:27] - Elayna shares her advice on how to deal with negative thoughts in Motherhood and how to find a safe place to talk to someone who can help you get out of the darkness.
More about Elayna:
Elayna Fernández is a bestselling author, internationally acclaimed storyteller, and self-made mom entrepreneur. Elayna’s mission is to provide moms with skills, strategies, and steps to find peace, break unhealthy cycles, and feel whole. Her award-winning Emotional Wholeness programs inspire millions of moms worldwide to transform their pain into positive growth. To learn more about Elayna, follow visit thePositiveMOM.com and follow her @thepositivemom
Resources: http://thepositivemom.com
Amazon Author Page https://amzn.to/3axgbmU
http://linkedin.com/in/thepositivemom
http://twitter.com/thePositiveMOM_
http://instagram.com/thepositivemom
http://facebook.com/thepositivemom
http://pinterest.com/thepositivemom
http://tiktok.com/@thepositivemom
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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-a-stay-at-home-mom-and-why-i-always-feel-guilty/id1585453693?i=1000570591127
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/setting-boundaries-and-learning-to-prioritize-with/id1585453693?i=1000569365593
